


Superior

by wikelia



Series: Superior [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, it's not graphic but it is a big thing in the story, mention of blood and stuff, please don't read if you can't handle that, they are being kidnapped and tortured, trigger warning for torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:20:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29056584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wikelia/pseuds/wikelia
Summary: Her being captured is a problem. Him being captured is a bigger problem. But both of them? That’s just shitty, and she doesn't care for it.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Series: Superior [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2146140
Comments: 13
Kudos: 173





	Superior

**Author's Note:**

> When I started writing this, I had only seen two seasons of AOT - I didn’t know Levi’s entire backstory, but I did have an idea of it. I’m all caught up as of halfway through the fic! Still, this is my first time writing AOT and I don’t necessarily have a grip on his character (especially because he was barely present in the second season), so I’m sorry if any part is too OOC. Happy reading!
> 
> I understand that this fits nowhere in canon, sorry.

Her back aches.

God, it aches bad.

They’ve only been here for what, an hour? Two hours? But they haven’t spoken - in fact, Levi has not even thrown a single glance in her direction, despite their close proximity in the cell. Good. She knows that the worst possible situation has finally come to their doorway. Her being captured is a problem. Him being captured is a bigger problem. But both of them? That’s just shitty, and she doesn’t care for it.

They couldn’t speak even if they wanted to, because there’s two guards at the door and a man whose gaze makes her blood run cold, both because of his reputation as a mad scientist and because he keeps looking at them like he can’t wait to cut them up and see what’s inside.

She finds herself afraid. She hates it.

 _Why_ did Levi have to come after her? She can’t even glare at him like she enjoys doing most of the time - instead, they can only sit and stew. She wonders what he’s thinking. Knowing him, he’ll find a logical explanation for why this is her fault, but the blame only extends for getting herself captured. As far as she is concerned, Levi could have easily escaped. So he can blame himself, the asshole.

“Are you in pain?” the scientist - she decides to call him Dick - asks, looking at her.

“She’s fine,” Levi answers for her. 

Dick does not seem to like this response. “Captain Levi, while it is an honor to have you with us, I do want to ensure that that lieutenant is not feeling uncomfortable.”

Levi gives the man his most deadpan look, and she winces before he even starts speaking. “I’m her superior, and I didn’t fucking train her to be _uncomfortable_.”

Well, that much is true. Countless drills at 4 AM in the morning definitely made this jail cell seem like child’s play. But the scientist must have received information that Levi hasn’t. Before he had arrived on the scene, she had taken a rather hard blow to the back, and the sting (both the one on her back and her ego) is still acting up. There’s no need to tell him that though, she doesn’t need the lecture on top of the biting remarks that are going to follow.

“Regardless.” Dick waves a hand, and looks at her with a gleam in his eyes. “If she’s uncomfortable, perhaps...perhaps we should change her position.”

She knows what that means. It means that the torture is about to begin. Apparently she’s going first, oh goody! She is up on her feet before the guards even reach the cell. She doesn’t look at Levi, and she knows that he is certainly not looking at her. This was inevitable, and neither of them are idiotic enough to not prepare themselves for this. 

As they drag her out, she does her best to not let the heavy pounding in her chest get to her. Surely, surely, all those times that her trainers beat the absolute shit out of her - as a lesson, a punishment or just because - would be worse than this. She survived those, she can survive this. Right? Right? 

None of the uncertainty plays out on her face. It remains impassive, and this time, when Dick asks her once again whether or not she is in pain, she responds before Levi can be an asshole about it.

“No.” It’s simple, no need to make him mad. Her goal is not to gain the upper hand, it’s to survive. 

Dick radiates sick positivity as a wide smile grows on his face. “Oh? But I heard that one of our soldiers had delivered a rather well-placed kick to your back. They said they heard a crack.”

“Nothing’s broken,” she says loudly, more for Levi’s benefit than anything else. She will not have him think she’s not ready to fight the second he needs her to. “I am absolutely fine.”

“Is that so?”

With the snap of his fingers, one of the guards moves, and within a few seconds has her pinned against the wall. Her cheek presses against cold stone, and she does her best not to tremble. Her uniform is yanked off, followed quickly by her shirt. Thankfully, none of them are ripped, so she’ll be able to wear them again. The nasty voice in her head tells her that she’s going to want to cover up very soon. 

“Well, you were correct, Lieutenant. Nothing appears to be broken, but you may want to get that bruise looked at.”

She is turned back around harshly, Dick picks up some sort of device that looks like it’s crackling with static. She grits her teeth roughly, and gets ready. 

He raises the device, she closes her eyes, and -

Nothing happens.

A second passes.

“Now, this won’t do.”

She opens her eyes, confused, and notices he isn’t even looking at her. He’s looking at Levi with a frown, shaking his head.

“Now you see, I can’t do this until you look at her. How else will I get you to talk and spill your dirty secrets?” 

Finally, her gaze goes towards her captain, who is standing as well and looking at the wall next to him pointedly. His whole body is tense, with clenched fists and narrowed eyes.

“I don’t plan on talking. You can continue. This isn’t a performance, so you don’t need an audience.”

Dick clicks his tongue. “If you don’t look, I’m going to make this twice as hard on her.”

“Go ahead,” Levi mutters, still not looking. “That’s her problem. Not mine.”

 _Thanks,_ she thinks without any real bitterness. She doesn’t want him to look either.

The scientist decidedly likes her more than he likes Levi. Maybe that’s because she acts like a normal human being who is in captivity and not a smarmy asshole who knows he is always in control of his emotions and lords it over people. 

He sighs, as though talking to a child. “Now, this doesn’t make sense. There are widespread rumors that you and Lieutenant (L/N) are more than superior and subordinate. I put faith in people’s words, Captain. Is that not true?”

“Please.” Levi scoffs. “That woman has been a pain in the ass since the day I met her. You think I’m interested? I’m not. And just so you know, the sound of your voice is torturing her more than that stupid toy is going to. So if you want this to work, go ahead, keep talking.”

Dick sighs again, and motions to the other guard. The imposing man walks into the cell, grabs a fistful of Levi’s hair and shoves him down on his knees, yanking his head up so he can’t take his eyes off her. 

A flare of anger rushes through her at the sight. Levi could take that man down, _easily_ , but there’s no point. There’s about thirty more outside, and they can be replaced fairly easily. But still, the humiliating sight of her captain on his knees, forced to watch the shit they’re about to do her, enrages her. This was worse than anything else they could possibly dream of.

Levi’s face is blank, but his eyes are scarier than normal.

“Now, let’s begin.”

And then her stomach is on fire. 

She clashes her teeth together, hard, and barely stops herself from screaming. Instead, her legs buckle and she topples over, a hiss barely escaping her lips. In a second, it is as if nothing happened - she even places a hand on her stomach just to make sure. 

Above her, she hears a disbelieving, almost disappointed sound from Dick. When he speaks, he sounds like one of her early professors about to tell her that she could do so much better if she only applied herself. 

“Surely you’re not that weak, Lieutenant (L/N)? A woman with so many titan kills to her name can’t even take a little pain?”

She was wrong, dead wrong. Just that small bout had been about fifty times more painful than any time someone had ever kicked her in the stomach. She dares not look at the captain, but a spark of anger rises knowing that he is watching, that these dirty bastards are making him see this. She looks up, prepares, and spits at him.

Dick only chuckles.

She is brought to a standing position by the guard, and is then jolted again. And again.

And again.

“What is the scouts’ next move?”

“Where is Eren Jaeger now?”

What does Commander Erwin mean to do with him?”

“Have tea with him,” she spits out harshly, panting, “I hear human-titan hybrids like oolong.”

He holds it to her skin for just two seconds longer as punishment. This time, she can’t help it - a cry escapes her, and her head falls forward as her eyes shut in pain.

“Do you want to answer, Captain?”

There is a few seconds of silence. God, she can usually tell what he is thinking, but right now all she can focus on is how bad it stings, how much she wants it to stop. An image of her bed back home, warm and soft, flutters through her mind, and she shoves it back down as firmly as she can. She can do this. She can take this a thousand times if she has to.

“She seems fine to me,” comes his uninterested response.

And so it continues. On one hand, she is relieved that they never change the weapon and continue to use the small hellish device. It gets her accustomed to it, and as much as it hurts like a bitch, at least it is not breaking the skin. Certainly burning it, though. Or something. She can’t think straight. It hurts. It hurts.

Cries turn to screams as the questioning is drawn out. 

The screams that sound terrible even to her own ears, honestly. With the guard’s vice-like grip on her arms, she can’t even catch a moment’s relief. She has no time to catch up with the pain, to reel herself back in control. Instead, her screams get louder, and her fists clench so hard that her palms burn, and her hair starts coming loose from the tight bun it’s been in. 

Half an hour later, or four hours later, they finally stop. The guard lets go, and she falls to the floor in a heap, panting harshly. Every inch of her chest and stomach stings so bad that she is scared to touch the skin in fear that it will turn to ash under her touch. Instead, she struggles to reach forward and grab her uniform, fingers trembling. 

With a humorous chuckle, Dick tosses it to the side.

“Fetch it.”

It doesn’t matter. None of the shit they’ve done to her in the past few minutes (hours?) matters. Her pride is still intact, thanks very much. With hateful eyes and her teeth bared furiously, she looks up at him, remaining exactly where she is.

He doesn’t like this response, but lets it go, maybe because he is tired too. Poor guy, she thinks, having to stay up past his bedtime just to torture her. She hears a grunt to her right - the other goon has let Levi go, and the two of them go stand by the door again without a word. Damn, she bets that her captain wishes she was as silently obedient as these two.

Dick helps her up, and then throws, actually throws, her into the cell. She feels her back hit the wall and remembers that she was injured before as well. Right, both front and back are in pain! This will be such a fun night for her, she thinks bitterly as she crumples to the ground. Her uniform is thrown on the floor in front of her, but her shirt is kept outside the bars. That’s probably fair. Her life for the cause and all that noise. 

Except it’s too far and she can’t reach for it. She doesn’t want to try only to collapse and appear more pathetic than she already is.

The cell is slammed shut in front of them, and her eyes meet the scientist’s, who watches the two of them hungrily. “That didn’t quite go the way I was planning. So, tomorrow…” He licks his lips. “We’re going to switch the roles.”

Her fingers twitch angrily, but she can do nothing but glare at him. 

“Lieutenant,” he coos in a way that makes her skin crawl, “I know you’re in pain. But I want to assure you that for every bit of pain I’ve inflicted on you, I intend to inflict tenfold on your precious superior. To not spill your secrets would be insubordination!” He laughs as though he’s told the world’s greatest joke. 

“Honestly,” Levi drawls, “you really are as stupid as you look. She’s going to enjoy that, dumbass.”

“We’ll see,” Dick responds simply. He whistles a merry tune before picking up his Toy From Hell and leaving the room.

She hears his footsteps as he gets farther and farther from the room, but she still refuses to look at Levi. Besides the humiliation she has just suffered, she’s not sure if she physically can turn her neck to do it. Every movement feels like a burden right now. She closes her eyes, willing herself to push through the pain. This is nothing. This is _nothing._

Suddenly a hand is on her bare back, pushing her forward gently. She lets him do the work and move her forward, just a bit. Her uniform is flung over her shoulders and tears spring to her eyes. What is this? If she can go through the entire torture session, then she can certainly deal with Levi being gentle without crying. The tears don’t fall.

Arms are wrapped around her, and a kiss is pressed against her temple before he murmurs, “You are _so_ brave.”

A small cry of anguish escapes her lips and she buries her face in his neck. His arms tighten around her as much as they possibly can, and she can tell he’s trying not to squeeze her too tight.

“He’s gone,” Levi whispers, raw anger creeping in his voice, “he won’t be back until morning. He’s done, he won’t hurt you anymore. Someone is gonna find us soon.”

He keeps going on like this, whispering reassuring things. He doesn’t seem to realize that his close presence is enough to keep her from panicking. She finds what little strength is left in her arms and clutches onto his shirt, closing her eyes and pressing as close to him as she can. This is the easy part. This is Levi, and Levi means safety, there’s no one in this room that she needs to fear anymore.

Still, she chokes out, “I’m not crying.” She simply refuses to.

His fingers are shaking a little. “Why not? You have every right to.”

“I won’t,” she hisses, and this time she means it. She pulls away despite her mind and body both protesting - he’s warm, he’s safe, and it’s him. But she needs to show him she’s not going to break and she needs to show him why.

“I don’t know if you remember.” She sits back against the wall, wincing in pain. “But...before I joined your team, before the Garrison and all that shit, back when I was still training…” She groans, realizing that there really is no comfortable position. “You told me something. When I got that letter from my mother, remember?”

Levi remembers, she can tell by the way his eyes soften, but he lets her continue.

“You told me to stop crying. You said…” She grunts, but manages to finish. “You said that you were the only one allowed to make me cry.”

“That was for training,” he mutters, taking off his own uniform and placing it behind her back so that she has some kind of cushion. “You have full control of whenever you want to burst into tears now.”

She laughs, making him raise a brow. “I have no control over anything whenever you’re around, Captain. Joining your squad was equivalent to selling my soul to you.”

“Then you shouldn’t have done it.”

Her eyes close - she focuses only on his voice. “How could I not, when you were begging?”

“Tch.” She smiles when he sounds like himself again. “I didn’t beg, you insolent minx.”

It still hurts. But her hand finds his and she squeezes and she manages to keep everything in. There is no outpouring of tears. Just him and her, communicating through silence just like they have always managed to do oh so well.

“It’s going to be me tomorrow. I don’t suppose I need to order you to keep your mouth shut?”

She thinks about it. She imagines what it will be like tomorrow, when they’ll force her down in Levi’s place, yank her up by her hair and make her watch as they hurt him, over and over. The thought of it makes her nauseous, but if she can handle it, then he can handle it better. She knows that. Between the two of them, he’s seen more shit, purely due to being in the Scouts longer. And a hard childhood, as opposed to her rather comfortable one.

“You know I’m more likely not to listen if you order me. I’m interesting like that.” She opens her eyes, managing to crack a grin at him.

His shoulders sag, and he gently brushes her cheek with his knuckles. His touch is so soft that she wonders if he thinks it’s going to hurt her. “I like when you joke around. Lets me know you’re okay. Tell another one,” he requests. 

Having Levi request one of her jokes makes her wonder if she’s dreaming, because for one thing, Levi never _requests_ anything, he mostly demands and orders and grumbles. And second, he has made clear exactly what he thinks of her jokes - and she’s lucky if he doesn’t roll his eyes or make a scathing remark about her poor sense of humor every time she tries. Which is ridiculous, because her humor is amazing.

“You don’t even like my jokes.”

“I promise I’ll like it, no matter how shitty it is.”

“Okay,” she agrees. “Um…” She bites her lip, thinking. “What do you call a…” She shakes her head. “No. Wait. Wait.” Her stomach is still too sensitive to touch. “How many…” She furrows her brows, trying to focus. Captain Levi is requesting a joke. This is big, feeling pain can wait right now, “Oh, I have one!”

“Tell it to me,” he says encouragingly.

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there.” When she gives him a look, he asks in a proper tone. “Who’s there?”

“Colossal Titan.”

Levi sighs, shaking his head. “Colossal Titan who?”

“ _Pew,_ ” she says, waving her arm a little. 

He stares at her blankly and she pouts. He said he would like it. She makes the motion again, miming the titan breaking down the wall. 

A hint of a smile comes upon his face, and he lets out a low chuckle. She looks at him crossly.

“Don’t fake laugh.”

“I’m not.” He looks down and laughs, genuinely. “I get it. It’s breaking down an outer wall. But it knocked first. It’s funny.”

“No, that was bad.” She sighs, looking up at the ceiling. “Because then everyone dies.”

Levi tilts her chin down so that she’s looking into his eyes. No matter what else, she loves how truthful, how genuine he seems at all times, even when he’s not trying to be. His eyes bore into hers, leaning in just close enough that she could lean forward and catch his lips if she tried.

“Knock knock,” he says, his voice low.

“Who’s there?”

“Armored Titan.”

“Armored Titan who?”

“I’m not sure, we haven’t figured it out yet.”

She actually laughs, and then winces, squeezing her eyes in pain as her body protests. How was laughter going to be the best medicine when she couldn’t even laugh? What a stupid saying. Levi’s general negativity is getting to her, honestly.

When she opens her eyes, he is still gazing at her as though he has never seen anything so captivating. 

“You look your prettiest when you laugh,” Levi murmurs, “don’t ever stop making your shitty jokes and laughing at them. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” Any other time she might have been snarky, cocky even, asking in a singsong voice if he really thought she was _pretty_ , just to annoy him. But being snarky requires effort, and she spent the last of it on that amazingly stupid joke.

Levi notices. He can’t seem to help himself. Still trying his best to be gentle, he wraps his arms around her, moving her just a little so that she’s resting against his chest instead of the wall. She doesn’t mind, he’s much more comfortable anyway. And the day’s events are catching up with her, as evident by the yawn that escapes her as much as she tries to fight it.

“Go to sleep,” Levi orders, no room for argument in his voice. “Come on.”

“Mm...don’t want them to find us like this…”

“They won’t,” he says firmly, “now _sleep_. That’s an order, (L/N).”

Hearing her name from him only makes the sleepiness worse. A wave of calmness washes over her, and she presses her face in his chest and breathes in against his shirt. It feels impossible to be scared like this, feels ridiculous to think that anyone could possibly hurt her when he’s holding her like this. 

Still, she tries to hang on. The logical but dire part of her brain reminds her that this is fleeting. Within a few hours, maybe less, they’ll be woken up and he’ll be snatched from her and they’re going to hurt him and he doesn’t deserve to be hurt and can’t they just leave him alone -

Levi starts stroking her hair. God, her eyes are closing without her consent, _goddammit_ , this is a dirty trick on his part.

“That’s…” She feels her consciousness slipping. “My move...thief...”

She knows she mumbles more, but she can’t tell what she’s saying, or whether it’s even coherent or not. She doesn’t make out his response either, too busy losing herself to his soothing touch and to the welcoming arms of sleep.

Her last thought is that he is _way_ too good at this.

* * *

A thud to her head is her wake-up call, and she wakes up with a gasp. The ugly guard from yesterday is in front of her, and before she realizes what is happening, her and Levi are both on their feet, pressed against the wall and made to look at the scientist, who looks like he certainly had a good night’s sleep.

Gratefully, she notices that she and Levi had indeed no longer been sleeping in the same close proximity. Bless him, he didn’t give them away. Even though she misses and craves his touch, waking up in his arms just isn’t a luxury they can afford right now. She also notices that her hair is tied up again, and a rush of love for her captain swells inside her.

“So!” Dick says in his grating chirpy voice. “Did you sleep well?”

Neither of them answer. She is simply too groggy to come up with a clever response right now, and she suspects Levi is too busy trying to kill the man with his glare. Dick does not seem to be bothered - in fact, he looks even more eager than yesterday.

“Let’s give you two a proper wake up call. Are you ready, Captain?”

Her heart beats a little faster, but she prepares herself. Levi can handle this, he’s going to be fine.

“Just get it over with,” Levi mutters dryly, “I’ve been ready for hours.”

“Good!” Dick smiles widely. “Bring her out.”

Her head snaps up, and she gasps in pain as the guard shoves her forward roughly. 

“What?” Levi growls angrily. “No, it’s my turn! You said it’d be me!”

Dick finally likes Levi’s response. He lets out a hearty chuckle, motioning for the guard to pin her against the wall. Her breathing quickens, but this time, she’s ready. This is the best option she could have hoped for. As much as she was sure that seeing Levi hurt wouldn’t break her resolve, she is glad that her mental fortitude does not have to be put to the test.

Damn it all, she can do this!

“She’s had enough!” Levi shouts. She hears a movement behind her, and then the guard holding her up leaves her side, knowing she doesn’t have enough strength to struggle. Without looking, she knows that Levi is putting up a fight now. If he doesn’t stop, he’s going to give them away. 

She understands the anger. The bastard pulled a clever move last night, letting them prepare for something that wasn’t going to happen. Levi must have spent the night readying himself for this, and so he had no time to consider what would happen if they continued on with her.

An arm presses her further into the wall and a sharp pain explodes from her stomach up to her chest, making her vision go blurry a little. Levi shouts protests that end with a thump and him on his knees again. God, she could kill these sons of bitches. 

She feels Dick tug her bun upwards, exposing her neck and making her wince in the cold. “This is your favorite part of the body, isn’t it, Captain?”

“Don’t you _fucking_ dare -“

She’s not sure what’s happening until she feels her skin break right over the nape of her neck, and she lets out a hoarse scream.

“Stop it! _Stop it!_ ”

Red hot blood drips down her back from her neck, pouring from an alphabet-shaped slice. Her world is spinning - she wonders if this is karma sent from the titans themselves. 

_L._

“I think I’ll leave her a somewhat memorable scar,” Dick crows, “how about your name, Captain?”

“ _You’re going to kill her, you bastard, stop it!”_

_E._

God, now that she knows what he’s carving into her neck like it’s a tree bark, she can feel it all the more keenly. She’s written his name several times, after all, whether it be in copious amounts of paperwork, letters responding to people’s inquiries about how the good captain is doing, or her own notes that she’ll leave next to a cup of tea that will be as simple as _dear levi, i accidentally put salt instead of sugar in this, sorry_ and she’ll see him roll his eyes but pocket the note anyway before forcing himself to drink her godawful beverage.

Dick’s handwriting is nice, she thinks hysterically. The scars will look pretty on her corpse. 

_V._

Levi keeps screaming and she hears the doors open as more people rush in to contain him. If only he had his gear, he could probably take them all on, but there’s only so much one guy can do without any weapons against ten or so people, even if it is Levi Ackerman.

Right before he writes the final letter, Dick stops, keeping a firm hand on her back just in case she was some kind of immortal goddess and could run away in this state. She’s closed her eyes by now, but her ears are still listening, and she can hear Levi panting harshly. She tries to imagine him, but it hurts to think.

“You can end this, Captain. Tell me what I want to know, and I can get her medical treatment in an instant. It’s your choice.”

There is a pregnant pause in the air, and she assumes all eyes are on him. The tip of the knife rests against her neck, ready to resume when need be.

“Tell me,” he presses, and she feels the blade dig into her skin a little. “What is the commander planning?”

There is more silence for a couple more seconds.

She hears the slightest hitch in breath, and it’s a credit to how well she knows Levi that she knows he’s about to say something. In a split second, she finds a will inside herself that she didn’t know existed until now, and she screams.

_“Don’t even think about it!”_

Dick laughs this off, digging the knife in a little deeper as punishment. “Well, Captain?”

Everyone waits. Her heart pounds loudly against her chest and she wonders if they can hear it.

“Burn in hell,” Levi hisses, and with a sigh relief she allows herself to submit to the pain.

_I._

Several things happen all at once. 

Someone screams - besides her - and the door is all but blown apart. From her left, she hears Levi yell something. She thinks a full on brawl has started, how does he hope to come out on top?

The weight that had been pressing her against the wall is gone, and she hears a voice that sounds suspiciously like Major Hange saying, “Let’s see how _you_ like it!”

With nothing holding her up, she feels herself fall, fall, fall until her knees hit the ground hard. The room erupts into chaos around her, and she can only make out so much of it. She tries taking it one at a time. Behind her Hange is waving around a knife like a madwoman which is pretty on-brand of her so it’s not too alarming. Outside the door, it seems like the guard dogs of this hellish lab-place are engaged in combat with the Scouts. People fighting people. Huh. Seems a bit refreshing. At least no one was planning to eat her in this situation.

She’ll take what she can get.

Finally, at the center of the room, shouting something at Hange and throwing punches, is Levi. He looks slightly unhinged and wonderfully furious, with his feral grey eyes (who even has grey eyes) being the only warning any of the poor chaps get before slams into them with his knuckles. 

Wow. All this for her sake? She’ll have to tease him if she lives through this.

It doesn’t feel like she will, though. Pain seems to be radiating from every part of her body. She can’t differentiate between areas of her body that are actually injured versus what’s hurting by association. This is actually more than a bit embarrassing, after fighting titans for ages, it was going to be one man with too many toys that was going to take her out?

No, fuck that. She decides, losing consciousness, as Levi elbows his next victim in the face and then finally makes his way to her, his face contorted in anger and his eyes focused, that she absolutely has to make fun of him for this.

* * *

In the ten minutes since she’s woken in the infirmary, Hange has asked her about a million questions. Truthfully, she has no problem answering - she even adds hand gestures and extravagant details to entertain the woman more. After all, Hange had led the charge that saved her life, the least she can do is give her something to write about in her collection of horror stories. Hearing about a human monster seems to thrill Hange enough to hang onto her every word.

Besides, it’s much better than sitting and idly twiddling her fingers in her hospital bed. 

Eventually, Hange sighs, standing. “Sorry. I’d love to keep you company longer, but there’s a load of work calling my name.”

“It’s fine, Major.” It’s _so_ not fine, she’s going to be damn bored holed up in here. “Er, I was wondering…”

“Short stack hasn’t come in here since after they confirmed you were gonna make it.” She scoffs. “Truthfully, I was surprised, considering how he carried you in here like he was ready to say his vows right then and there.”

Her nose wrinkles. “I’m not a married woman now, am I?”

Hange laughs, shaking her head. “Not yet. Next time, try getting your entire head sliced off and I’ll bring a white dress for you.”

See, this is why she likes Major Hange - at least someone in this military has a sense of humor, she can’t be expected to pull all the weight herself. 

“If you see Captain Levi, can you tell him I’m up?” She relaxes back against the pillow. “I want to talk to him.”

Her savior agrees, and leaves with a wink and encouragement to get better. Now that she has time to actually sit back and think, her thoughts are sour.

Levi is avoiding her? She takes two beatings, lets him coax her to sleep using her own genius move, gets his fucking name carved into her neck, stays alive out of pettiness, and this is the thanks she gets? He’s not that cold. She doesn’t know what it is she’s done that made him want to stay away, and she knows that Levi never does anything without his reasons, but that doesn’t stop her from being irritated.

Nearly half an hour later, he arrives - well, he sure took his damn time walking there. He’s in his stupid suit and his stupid cravat, looking as unperturbed as ever, as though him screaming bloody murder and punching people out left and right wasn’t the last thing she saw before she fell unconscious. She thinks she catches the briefest flash of relief in his eyes, but then he looks as bored as she’s been feeling while waiting for him.

She puts her hand to her chest and salutes, because he’s still her superior first and foremost.

“You’re awake, good.” He steps up to the front of her bed. “There’s a shit ton of paperwork with your name on it.”

She waits, but that’s all he says, and she realizes that he’s waiting for _her_ response.

“Yeah, I’m glad to see you alive too, _Captain._ ” She crosses her arms, glaring daggers at him. “Do you want some tea while I get to my chores?”

“Your tea? No thanks, I’d rather drink Jaeger’s disgusting titan blood than whatever the hell you manage to brew every time you touch a kettle.”

Asshole.

He turns to leave, and not able to contain herself, she squawks out angrily, “Captain! Aren’t you even going to ask if I’m alright?”

Her captain doesn’t even stop walking. Without looking at her, he says, “You look alright to me.”

_“Levi!”_

There. That stops him in his tracks.

He turns back to her slowly, and she matches his cool irritation with her own, defiantly jutting her chin out, just daring him to punish her for being informal when she’s in this condition. Besides, who was the one cuddling her in a jail cell less than twenty four hours ago? If he reports her for being informal, she’ll report him back even harder and then they’ll be stuck in an endless cycle trying to out-report each other.

He starts walking right up to her and she leans back on the bed a little and raises her hands because if he plans to fight her she needs to prepare her defenses, hold on - 

Levi is suddenly crushing her in a hug, his arms around her waist and her face looking over his shoulder. She freezes up as he buries his face in her neck, and squeezes her like she’s going to disappear as soon as he lets go.

Well, she thinks, tearing up for the second time in the past few days, now he’s being even more informal.

“This is what got us in this mess in the first place, (F/N).” He breaths into her neck and without further encouragement she slides her fingers in his hair, keeping him close. “Because apparently we’re so fucking obvious that everyone’s caught on.”

“So what?” she protests stubbornly, eyes narrowing. He’s the best thing that’s happened to her and she doesn’t plan to let him go just because some psycho had too much fun with a knife. “We held out. We’re not stupid or weak - neither of us broke.” She can’t help it, and presses a kiss to his cheek. “I know I didn’t get the chance to show you, Levi, but I could have done it. I would have held out, I swear.”

“I know.”

“But then, why are you -”

“Because _I_ didn’t hold out.”

And there it is, the big confession. She forgets how to breathe for a split second, thinking back to how quiet the room had been, everyone waiting for Levi’s response, seeing if he’d choose to keep his secrets or whether he’d choose her.

And he’d been about to choose her.

“If you hadn’t screamed right then, I don’t...” He sighs, frustrated, holding her even tighter. “I don’t know what I would have done. I was ready to tell them anything just to make it stop.”

“ _Levi_ ,” she whispers softly, not sure how to react to what is such a raw display of love for him, humanity’s strongest, the one who never lets himself care for anyone anymore. “He fucked with your head. I know you’re stronger than that, it was just a bad day.”

He chuckles mirthlessly, repeating her words incredulously like he always does whenever he thinks she’s just said something ridiculous. “A bad day.”

“Yes, a bad day.” She pulls away so she can look up at his face. His expression tightens when he sees the tears pooling at the corner of her eyes, before he reaches up and brushes them away with his thumb. She wonders how he manages to keep his touch so light after all the fighting he’s been thrown in. “And don’t worry, I’ll be there to scream at you next time too.”

This promise seems to only make him even more miserable. “And what happens the day you’re not?”

She opens her mouth to answer, but there is really no good response to him asking what happens when she inevitably dies. It probably will happen, and she doesn’t want to lie to him. She’s made her peace with it.

“Then that day you don’t have to worry about having a weakness anymore. It’s a win-win.”

It’s a dark, fucked-up answer to give him, and she knows that. But Levi doesn’t appreciate bullshit responses, and that’s probably half of why he likes her in the first place (the other half is her _strikingly_ good looks). She’s always been blunt if nothing else - she would always rather tell him the truth than a pleasant sounding lie, as much as she is tempted to do the latter at times, if it would make the haunted look in his eyes go away. Still, she says what her conscience dictates.

Levi nods, closing his eyes for a few seconds before opening them with a newfound sense of peace. Nudging her shoulder, he gestures for her to move aside. “Let me sit.”

“You sure, Captain? This is a hospital bed, you know - think of all the germs and sick people that have crawled all over it.”

He rolls his eyes and pushes her to the side himself, climbing on and leaning back against the pillow. Without an invitation, she lowers herself down until her head is resting against his chest, hand on his waist, and basks in his comfort. In turn, Levi slides his arms around her back and presses a kiss to her forehead. 

“I’m still mad at you for stealing my hair-stroking thing,” she mutters, rubbing circles against his hip with her thumb.

He smiles against her skin. “You didn’t invent hair-stroking.”

“Yeah, but it was my tool to put _you_ to sleep.”

“And it works annoyingly well, so I was seeing how you liked it.”

“I did like it,” she admits shyly, hiding her face against his chest. “But still, you’re a damn thief.”

Levi reaches up to the hair tie keeping her hair in a far looser bun than he had tied it in. With a practiced motion, he takes it off, letting her hair sprawl against his chest and running his fingers through it. She feels him press his fingers to her nape and she swallows nervously as his thumb and index finger start stroking his own name on her skin. That’s right, he is touching the scar for the first time, a scar that’ll last pretty damn long if not forever. His Adam’s apple bobs when she places her hand over his, squeezing his fingers gently, letting him know it’s okay, that she’s fine. There were worse things that could have been marked on her skin. This she can deal with.

“It’s easier like this,” he mumbles, “with you.” She understands.

She wants to tell him everything is easier with him there. But the words die on her lips, afraid of pushing him away. If he figures out that she’s ready to die for him, her superior, one day, then he’s going to keep her from doing just that. Instead, she raises her head and gives him a kiss with his fingers still tangled in her hair. She tries to convey everything, and it does feel like he understands, as he cups her cheek with his free hand and kisses her back fervently.

His lips are always such a treat for her, a rare delight that she gets to have when he’s feeling generous or particularly longing. She takes advantage of these moments, pouring her all into it, showing him just how much she adores him. How much she _loves_ him.

Levi hooks their legs together to keep her close, and her heart thrums at this unspoken message that he needs her as much as she needs him. God, _fuck_ , she wishes he could stay this close always. From his low groan and the way he tugs her even closer to deepen the kiss, she knows he feels the same.

Somehow, he pulls back first and makes a small _tsk_ at the pout she sends his way. “I’m not going to make out with you on a hospital bed. Who knows how diseased you are already?”

Just for that, she kisses him again, and smirks victoriously when he kisses back again.

This time, she pulls back, grinning victoriously. Levi makes a show out of rolling his eyes at her obvious desire to have the last word, but doesn’t comment. He pulls her back against his chest, and seems content burying his face in her hair and finally letting himself relax.

Which, she decides, closing her eyes and intertwining her fingers with his, is all she needs for now.

**Author's Note:**

> THERE’S TOO MANY ITALICS IN THIS. Also, I don’t usually write in present tense, but I’m honestly really enjoying it.
> 
> I’ve already got a whole backstory and a playlist for this pairing and I have zero regrets. Will I write more? That depends on you guys.


End file.
